I’ve always been intimidated by this dish, but it’s not that difficult to make. Here’s everything you need:

Stuffed Artichokes

• 4 large artichokes
• 1½ cups Italian bread crumbs
• 3/4 cup finely grated parmesan
• 2 tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 4 tablespoons butter, melted
• olive oil
• salt & pepper to taste

To prep the artichokes, you cut the stems off at the base and cut a flat face on the tops. The top cut will remove most of the sharp leaf tips, but you still need to go all around each artichoke and snip off any pointy ends.

Like leeks, artichokes can be pretty dirty. You need to agitate and soak them in water to remove the dirt. My uncle Frankie says to put salt and lemon juice in the water but I don’t think that makes a difference. Just press down on the top cut to spread the leaves a little, squeeze the artichokes like you’re trying to wring a sponge, shake them really well in the water, and then leave them upside down for about fifteen minutes. The dirt will fall out and the leaves will spread a little.

While the artichokes are soaking, mix the stuffing. Just mince the parsley and garlic and mix it well with the bread crumbs and cheese. Store-bought bread crumbs are preferable to homemade here, unless you can grind them really fine. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Remove the artichokes and squeeze and shake them dry. You want to hear some cracking when you squeeze. You need to break the inner leaves a little. Let them dry upside down on a towel. After ten minutes or so, set them in a sheet pan and divide the melted butter evenly between them. Then stuff the bread mixture into every nook and cranny, making sure to stretch and pull the leaves as you work. The goal is to have a little stuffing on every leaf. Don’t forget the outer leaves near the base.

Finally, put the artichokes in a steaming basket. They should fit snugly or they’ll fall apart. Drizzle olive oil over the tops. Steam the artichokes over medium-low heat for two and a half hours. Check after ninety minutes or so to see if you need to add more water.

When they’re finished steaming, you can just turn off the heat and keep them in the pot until they’re ready to be served. But one important thing I’ve learned is that the artichoke leaves will dry up and curl unless you keep them moist. So keep them covered until it’s time to eat. This is what they should look like when they’re done.

Finally, use your teeth to scrape the stuffing and artichoke meat off all the leaves. You know you’re doing it right if your fingertips start to prune.

Next bring a pot of salted water to a boil. This is where it gets a little complicated – and messy.

Since you’re working over a pot of boiling water, I recommend using two people. One person should hold a sieve or colander (whichever has the larger holes) over the pot. The second person should pour the batter into the colander a little at a time and work the batter through the holes with the bottom of a ladle:

The spaetzle only takes about 3 minutes to cook. As a general rule, they’ll float when they’re done. You might want to work the batter through the colander in two stages, removing the cooked dumplings with a slotted spoon after each interval.

Once they’re finished cooking, you can season them with salt and pepper, toss them with butter and serve. You really need to get some kind of liquid on them or else they’ll stick together. My wife’s grandmother throws them into a pan with a lot of butter and coats them with breadcrumbs to add a little more taste and texture:

Cook them just long enough to evenly coat the dumplings with breadcrumbs.

While my wife was busy with the spaetzle, I was working on the wiener schnitzel. I bought about a pound of veal scallopini from the grocery store. Even though they do a pretty good job of flattening it, I still pound them at home to ensure even cooking. I just put the veal in a ziplock freezer bag and pound it, one piece at a time, and then season the meat with some salt and pepper:

Next, I set up my breading station on my new kitchen island. It’s basically the same process as with the eggplant parmesan except I added 2 tablespoons of cream to the eggwash and used panko breadcrumbs instead of Italian:

I know what you’re thinking; Japanese breadcrumbs in an Austrian dish? Trust me, it works:

Next, you fry the veal over medium-high heat in a mixture of 2 tablespoons each of olive oil and butter. You may need to add more butter to the pan in between batches:

Finally, let them dry on some paper towels. I usually squeeze the juice from a half a lemon over the veal just before serving:

The veal came out very good, especially the panko crust. We like our spaetzle with just a little salt and pepper, but next time I might use the pan drippings from the schnitzel to make a red wine and mushroom sauce to pour it over the dumplings.

On Sunday, we tailgated and watched the riders compete in the USA Cycling Professional Road Race Championship. We took a cooler with some drinks and used the leftover wiener schnitzel to make some veal parmesan hoagies:

They really hit the spot. In a remarkable twist of fate, we happened to sit next to the woman who lived in our house for over 20 years. She asked if we lived close, and we told her the street name. She excitedly inquired about the exact address, and then she hugged me after I told her. It turns out that she’s the one who built the garage, the back deck, and extended the kitchen onto the old back stoop. And it was her father who built the dining room built-ins that I tore down and replaced. They only live a few blocks away, so I told them to stop by whenever they’re walking or driving by. I hope they come. I have lots of questions I’d like to ask.

You start by slicing your eggplant into 1/3″ thick slices. There’s an ongoing debate about whether or not you should peel eggplant. I peel it for the grill, but leave it for the oven.

Once sliced, you need to draw out the moisture. To do that, llayer them in a colander, making sure to sprinkle salt on each piece. Once they’re arranged, put a plate on top and weigh the slices down for at least 30 minutes and up to 2 hours. I learned this essential method from Simply Recipes.

The salt will draw the water out of the eggplant, condensing the flavors and allowing the flesh to fry better in the oil. Look at how the flesh has changed color:

When you’re ready to start cooking, wipe off the pieces with a paper towel. Next, set up your breading station with three plates:

1. A plate of flour seasoned with salt, pepper and crushed red pepper.
2. A plate of eggwash. I make my eggwash by beating two eggs with a teaspoon of dijon mustard. You could use a buttermilk or cornstarch slurry if you don’t have any eggs.
3. A plate of breadcrumbs. It doesn’t matter if you use Italian, panko or cracker meal. I usually go with Italian breadcrumbs mixed with a little cornmeal.

You know the drill; coat both sides of the eggplant in flour and lightly shake off the excess. Then dredge the flour-covered pieces through the eggwash and drip off the excess. Finally, coat both sides with the breadcrumbs. Try to keep your fingers clean or else you’ll get doughfingers (If you’re unfamiliar with that term, you won’t be after this process).

Once the eggplant pieces are all breaded, preheat the oven 350°. The next step is to add enough oil to a pan to coat the bottom. If I have some cheap olive oil on hand, I’ll use that. Otherwise, I just use some canola oil. Warm the oil over medium heat, and start frying when the oil begins to wrinkle (if that makes sense):

Don’t walk away; it doesn’t take long to brown each side. You may have to add more oil to the pan after each batch. Drain all the eggplant pieces on paper towels.

You fry the eggplant on the stove top, but you really cook them in the oven. Start by ladling some sauce into the bottom of a casserole dish. This keeps the eggplant and cheese from sticking. Arrange as many eggplant pieces as you can in a single layer. Top each piece with a little parmesan cheese. Next, spread a spoonful of sauce over each piece and top with mozzarella cheese. Repeat this process with the remaining eggplant pieces, staggering them so you can see the layer beneath:

Finally, cover with foil and cook until the eggplant heats through. Cooking time depends on how hard or softy you like your eggplant. A rule of thumb is to cook it until the sauce begins to bubble:

Serve alone, or with bread and salad.

This is a recipe you can really play around with. Feel free to add sauteed vegetables to the sauce, use multiple cheeses, or anything else you can imagine. Just remember, the star of this show is supposed to be the Eggplant, not the sauce or the cheese.

This is the same recipe I use for Veal and Chicken Parmesan. It’s actually the base for lots of recipes. Pound out and bread some pork instead of eggplant and you’ve made Pork Schnitzel. Do it with tenderized round steak and you’ve made Chicken/Country Fried Steak. The only real differences are in the seasonings and the ingredients of the eggwash/slurry, so have some fun experimenting with it.

* That “someone” is usually me.